Unicorns slay Dragons for second season victory

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is the final part of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #3: Dragons

Three Mondays ago, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse took the field not knowing what to expect from their opponents, the Dragons.  Dubbed "The Series of Mythical Beasts" or "Battle of Mythical Creatures" by non-believers, the Unicorns were in for their most gruesome battle yet.

The series didn't start out so well, as the Unicorns saw their leadoff man, and one of their best hitters, strike out, their two-hole hitter fly out, and then, following a single, saw the final out made on a fielder's choice.  After the first was over, though, the Unicorns polished off their horns and charged, scoring nine runs highlighted by a grand slam by Magi-Carp and a solo shot by Greaver.  They didn't stop in the third either, as Ryan Cahill blasted his own homerun and the bottom of the batting order, lead by returning VBC Softball elite Romeo Villanueva, all got on base so that the top of the order could bring them all home.  For two consecutive innings, the batting order had been cycled through once.

Every 'corn was merciless over those innings, but the Dragons were not going to go down without launching their own huge balls of fire.  When the smoke cleared, the Dragons outlasted the Unicorns and won 19 to 17.

Enraged, the Unicorns took the field again only to use their trump card: nuclear fusion.  Picking up right where they left off, the Unicorns scored four in the first.  The Dragons responded with scoring four of their own to tie it, but in the end the radiation was just too much for them to stand--the Unicorns stood victorious for the second time this season, besting their foes 12 to 7.

The series was easily the greatest series played in the history of the Unicorns of the Apocalypse.  Sometimes their enemies are clearly in the wrong league, but the Dragons, a foe truly worthy of tying with the Unicorns, showed that they, too, belong in Virginia Beach's Duffer league.

Wins: 2

Ties: 1

Losses: Who cares!?  We've won 2 and tied 1!  Neigh!

Team Leaders

Unicorns do not eat Chinese

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is part 2 of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #2: P.F. Chang's Warriors

Many players on the Unicorns of the Apocalypse, when in their human form, love Chinese food.  When in their Unicorn form, they can eat Chinese food, but they cannot, however, eat Asian Fusion food.  In fact, they choke on it pretty hard.  Though VBC Softball has faced P.F. Chang's Warriors many times in the past, both as the Unicorns and as The Legion of Fistpumping Turtles, they always seem to come out winless (e.g., last year).  This year was no different.  "Must be some kind of allergy," coach Greg Weaver explained, "and I know a thing or two about allergies."

Due to the absence of many of the Unicorns (likely due to their fear of many things fusion), the first game was open to the slaughter rule.  Luckily, though, long-time colleague of a couple 'corns, Scherry McCartney, showed up to play first base and thus canceled said rule in the second game, making the teams play the required five innings and therefore extending the torture of being utterly ripped apart.  McCartney, who brought with her two whom would cheer, would go 0-2 with a walk and a run in the series.  Mentionable highlights of the second game include homeruns by the Weaver brothers, but ultimately, though they batted an MLB-excellent 14 for 31 (.452), they could not string together their hits to counteract the potent offense of the Warriors.

Team Leaders (week of May 14th)

Unicorns hold on to Cobras

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is part 1 of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #1: Busch Cobras

The Unicorn can be both the most fragile of creatures and the fiercest of creatures.  Typically, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse, while inherently having a nature that can effectively end the world at any given moment, start out a two-game series as the former and end with the latter.  Example: Coming off of a 12-run win, the Unicorns mustered a total of two hits in the first two innings this, their next game, and came out with only four runs.  Their M.O., apparently, is to lead teams in to make them think they are just fragile little 'corns (thus the allowance of 11 runs in the first inning and VBC Softball veteran Joanna Niles suffering a strained oblique while in the field in the bottom of the 1st) until they unleash their nuclear power, as evidenced by their 5-run first inning in the second game.  Reigning MVPs Kevin "Magi-Carp" Carpenter and Elisabeth Edge returned to add to the fallout, allowing the Unicorns to spit out the venom that caused their first loss and ending their match with the Cobras in a draw.

Wins: 1
Losses: 2
Ties: 1

Go, Unicorns!

Team Leaders (week of May 7th)

Mosquitoes Abound, Malaria Stifles Unicorns

Greg "Greaver" Weaver starts his stride...

     Last Monday was VBC Softball veteran Larry Strait's birthday and last day before going back to Iraq, and he was determined to play as hard as he could to max out his stats and try to get his first win with any VBC team he has been on.  According to him, he has always been mysteriously absent the days that VBCers have won games.

     The game didn't start off well.  The first inning retired the Unicorns in order, and the second inning had ended with only a single by "Hard 'A'" Lanah Stafford.  Meanwhile, the Unicorns' foes, the LC Stars, drew an uncharacteristic eight walks off of Bobby Weaver and drove in nine runs.  Then, for a moment, Unicorn magic happened.

Mythical Kraken Robs Hits, Unicorns Come Out Alive

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Nietzsche

“But more importantly we didn’t get killed.” – Nietzsche’s Unicorn

Bob "Dad" Weaver played with the two
original VBC Softball teams, the Yetis
and the Werewolves.  He returned to action
with the Unicorns on September 12th. 

     The Unicorns took the field against the EVW Highwaymen at Princess Anne Field Red #2 at 6:45pm one girl short and spirits waning.  Only nine Unicorns were available at the start of the game, the 12-run rule was in effect, and they were against the team tied for first in the division.  The end result: two decently-played games.

     Prior the games, there were deliberations on how changes should be made to the lineups and to the fielding positions.  LF Larry Strait likes to call the outcome the “all-girl infield”—an idea meant to bolster our outfield, especially in games against teams that place high in the division.  There were two key moves: moving Romeo Villanueva from RC to 1B and solidifying Rachel Matteo at SS.

     Villanueva has been getting better in the outfield game-by-game.  When positioned well, he makes excellent snags and is consistently a solid groundball fielder.  However, the RC position seemed to be a position better fit for someone who could cover more ground.  Not only does the fielder have to have the ability to quickly chase down balls that may go over his or her head or get down well in front, s/he also has to back up the player in RF.  Villanueva now, when in the lineup, takes place of Nicholas Wasilewski, the fastest player on the team, at 1B.  This positioning inherently breaks the tag “all-girl” (as does the pitcher position), but the name continues to stick.

     Matteo proved her glove worthy of an infield position during the games versus Rewire.  During that series, she played 3B and made many good stops.  To incorporate her in the infield with other solely-infield players such as Rianna Hoffman and Elisabeth Edge, Greg Weaver, who had been playing SS since the spring, was moved into the outfield.  Matteo’s proof of worthiness for the position was capped when she turned a season-first double-play in the second game.

     With the new defense, the Unicorns and pitcher Bobby Weaver held the first-place team to 13 runs in the first game and 9 in the second, the team’s two lowest earned-run totals of the season.

     Unfortunately, the EVW Highwaymen would not take lightly to our defense.  To counter it, they summoned the Silencer of Seamen, Terror of the Tides, the Un-doer of the Unborn: the Cankerous Kraken.  In the first game, he was involved in 9 of the 12 outs; in the second, 7 of 21.  He stood 6’7”.  Limbs seemed to spout from every orifice of his being, all of them fortified with gloves.  He was a monster at limiting runs through his inconceivable range and quickness of arm.

     Other members of the Highwaymen revealed themselves to be giant squid as well, as it seemed that 80% of the males were over six-feet tall.  These squid lowered significantly the batting averages of the Unicorns—the team went .253/.331/.273 in the series.  If one created a line using the lowest numbers of all of the other series combined, it would read .401/.451/.533.  If one created a line using the lowest numbers of all of the series in franchise history, it would read .355/.403/.475.  Ouch.

Notes
- VBC Softball welcomed back veteran Bob Weaver, father of B-Weave and Greaver, as he made his first appearance as a Unicorn, filling in for Greaver, who was dealing with a jammed thumb, in the second game.  He went 0 for 2 batting, but posted a perfect fielding percentage at 1B, getting 5 batters out.
- B-Weave and Kevin MagiCarpenter continued to impress while pitching, making their way out of the candidacy for this season’s Sigh Young award.  B-Weave lowered his WHIP to 4.63 and struck three out while MagiCarp lowered his own WHIP to 4.50 and struck out four.

Team Leaders, Week of 8/12

Males

AVG/OBP/SLG: B-Weave (AVG leader; .647/.684/1.000) and MagiCarp (OBP/SLG leader; .643/.688/1.143) continue to battle for the top spot.

RBI: Carpenter continues his dominance, moving up to 11 for the season.

Females

AVG/OBP/SLG: The squids caught everyone’s balls, and the ladies are no exceptions.  Edge holds the AVG (.333), “Real Time” Rianna Hoffman holds the OBP (.438), and Matteo holds the SLG (.385).

RBI: Lanah Stafford pulls out on top with 3.

Game Preview for 8/22/11

Unicorns of the Apocalypse @P.F. Chang's Warriors

Princess Anne Athletic Complex Field Red #3

6:45-8:45pm

     After last week's valiant efforts to defeat That's What She Said went fruitless, the Unicorns take on P.F. Chang's Warriors for a doubleheader Monday night.  The Warriors are currently 2-0, beating Carroll Truckers last week.  However, as seen in a previous post, the spring's P.F. Chang's team went 0-14, so there is a solid chance that the Unicorns could pull out a win.  Expect the season debuts of the acclaimed Larry Strait and Nathan Anderson.

Lineup is TBD.

Last Week's Team Leaders

Males

AVG/OBP/SLG:  Coach Greg Weaver leads the team with .800s across the board.  Greaver is bested only in SLG at the moment with his brother Bobby Weaver unsurprisingly besting him at 1.000.  B-Weaver continues to be reliable at getting extra-base hits, landing two last Monday night.

Despite First-Inning Magic, Unicorns Gracefully Lose Season Opener

If the Unicorns of the Apocalypse were as magical as,
saaaay, this here burrito unicorn, Monday night
may have ended differently.

     It was probably one of VBC Softball’s most glorious innings in the last year and a half. 

     After having lost to That’s What She Said all three times in the first part of 2011 (3-12, 4-15, 5-11), the Unicorns fielded a two-hit, two-walk first inning that saw two runs cross the plate.  The Unicorns responded with a monster seven-hit, one-walk inning that saw seven cross the plate.  To put that in perspective, in only four out of fifteen games last season did the Unicorns score seven or more runs.  The Unicorns were ecstatic and continued playing well defensively, with Romeo Villanueva taking one knee to make a crucial catch in left-center and rookie Kevin Carpenter diving low to make his own web gem in left.

Spring 2011 Superlatives Part 2

Sarah Redfield (CF/2B):

Team Sister

            Everyone enjoys the fact that Sarah comes out to hang with us during our games, regardless if she gets the chance to play or not.  She’s good at giving tips, cheering us, and quietly heckling the other teams while keeping score well.  Thanks!

Divided Loyalties

            Unfortunately, Sarah is on another softball team, and while we would never play her team, the question may arise of who she would root for in the situation that we would in fact play them in a scrimmage.  Hmmmmmmm...!

Summer Training

First baseman Nicholas Wasilewski
perching during the mid-practice break

There was no telling how hot it was.  No one out today really needed a thermometer--all one would have to do is look at the sweat-soaked shirts of the Unicorns of the Apocalypse to know: it was certainly hot.

Eight members of the Unicorns journeyed to Kempsville Rec Center yesterday to engage in some summer practice.  Normally they would be staying fresh for fall, but most of the Unicorns were making sure that they stayed loose for the make-up game two Mondays from now.

Unicorns' DL Stint Continues

This season has a been a rather unlucky one for the Unicorns, who have seen a remarkable number of injuries this year, half of which have been caused by other players in the game.

The latest to fall victim to the disabled list is veteran Romeo Villanueva, who had a fateful collision with Alaina Coletti on Monday night's game against the Stunners. Villanueva (RC) and Coletti (LC) were both trying to chase down a ball that was hit right in between them. A communication error allowed them to run directly into each other. Villanueva, who has taken a number of hits already this season, finally broke and has suffered a bruised rib, putting him out for the rest of the season.