Despite First-Inning Magic, Unicorns Gracefully Lose Season Opener

If the Unicorns of the Apocalypse were as magical as,
saaaay, this here burrito unicorn, Monday night
may have ended differently.

     It was probably one of VBC Softball’s most glorious innings in the last year and a half. 

     After having lost to That’s What She Said all three times in the first part of 2011 (3-12, 4-15, 5-11), the Unicorns fielded a two-hit, two-walk first inning that saw two runs cross the plate.  The Unicorns responded with a monster seven-hit, one-walk inning that saw seven cross the plate.  To put that in perspective, in only four out of fifteen games last season did the Unicorns score seven or more runs.  The Unicorns were ecstatic and continued playing well defensively, with Romeo Villanueva taking one knee to make a crucial catch in left-center and rookie Kevin Carpenter diving low to make his own web gem in left.

     But, the celebration was short-lived.  It was as if That’s What She Said snapped into it, realizing that a five-run deficit in the first inning is not something for which is made-up easily.  They did it, though, allowing only one hit in the next two innings while they scored four more over the top of the next three, quickly tying the game 7-7.

     Now in the bottom of the fourth, Unicorns were at the top of their order and were looking to repeat what they had done at the beginning of the game.  All they could muster, however, was an RBI single by Gregory Weaver—but that was enough to get them ahead.

     Confident that their defense could hold their opponents, the first batter was quickly retired.  Bobby Weaver was pitching well so far, only having walked six batters, most of which were females that had hard-to-read strike zones.  Mike, number 55 on TWSS, had been walked once before, though, and, knowing that he could walk again, played Weaver into giving him yet another base-on-balls.  By the grace of the rules of rec softball, 55 had a free ride to second and the next, female batter took her free base.  With one out and two on, the next batter drove in 55.   The female was caught on the basepaths and TWSS suffered an automatic out due to an insufficient number of females, thus the inning was closed.  The damage was done, though, and the game was once again tied.

     The frazzled Unicorns failed to produce in their next two chances while TWSS knocked in five more in the top of the sixth after a leadoff homerun.  The final score was 13-8, TWSS.

     Beaten after such a great start, the Unicorns moved onto their second game, hoping to tap into the hellfire that is suggested by their name and even out their loss.  That’s What She Said’s defense bulked up even more, though, and the second loss came at 14-4.

     Whether That’s What She Said’s offense plus the Unicorns’ errors or TWSS’s stellar defense was a greater factor in the Unicorns’ losses is debatable, but the latter was something that every ‘corn was gawking at even after the games were over.  Their shortstop made many excellent plays and liners hit down the third base line were snagged, as well  Two even more devastating factors came from their pitching change and the outfield: the pitcher threw with an incredible backspin and their  female center-fielder, though small, made huge athletic grabs that robbed B-Weaver and Kevin Carpenter of would-be doubles. (she also got walked constantly, making her a nemesis of Weaver, whom accused her of having a "ball magnet in her robot arm").  The Unicorns are now 0-5 lifetime against TWSS.

Game 1 – Ω: 3, TWSS: 12; .440/.440/.600 (AVG/OBP/SLG)

Game 2 – Ω: 4, TWSS: 15; .565/.565/.652

Game 3 – Ω: 5, TWSS: 11; .318/.423/.455

Game 3 – Ω: 7, TWSS: 13; .433/.500/.500

Game 4 – Ω: 4, TWSS: 14; .435/.435/.565

     According to the official standing chart, the Unicorns are posted on top of all of the other 0-2 teams, and TWSS is first out of all of the 2-0 teams.  So, instead of “last place,” one could say that they’re either in fifth place or second place when speaking of their accolades to friends.