Sunday, August 28, 2011

Game Preview for 8/29/11

Unicorns of the Apocalypse vs. REWIRE
Princess Anne Athletic Complex Field Red #2

Leslie Paxton and her horn.  The silver
coming down from her scalp is pure
silvery magic (not a strap).
     Between the disasters of yestergames and now, two significant things happened.  
     One: the Incredible Hulkicorn (see last post) ripped through the earth.  It continues to make its way to Virginia Beach, smashing everyone and everything in its path (yes, that includes Hurricane Irene), and plans to secure the field for us prior to tomorrow night.  Word is that if we lose to REWIRE he will proceed to eat them and smash their souls.
     Two: RF Leslie Paxton's birthday was on Thursday.  She decided to channel the magic of unicorns everywhere and forged the horn that you see growing out from her skull.  Some of those in attendance at her soiree also showed to have horns bursting out of their brains into the warm evening air, including Greg Weaver, Lanah Stafford, and a bunch of others that were just affected by the might of that magic.

     Hulkicorn making REWIRE quiver in fear of certain consequences and channeling birthday'corn magic should allow for the Unicorns to procure victory tomorrow night.  REWIRE is the only other team in the division with an 0-4 record, so defeating them twice could bring the Unicorns up quite a bit in the division depending on how the other teams play.

     Kevin Carpenter will make his premiere start on the mound at 8:45.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Unicorns Walk in X^n Runs, Proceed to Summon Earthquake

            The moral of the story, as one Unicorn put it on Monday night, is to never take the lead in the first. 
In three out of four games played thus far, the Unicorns have taken the lead in said inning, only to lose it later on.  On this particular Monday night, Coach Greg Weaver sent Rianna “Real Time” Hoffman out to the mound to pitch her first game since mid-July, where she had a relatively mediocre outing against a tough team, ZDUB Softball.  He thought the mental rest over the break and the Unicorns’ first two games would be sufficient time to get Hoffman back closer to her mid-spring form despite Hoffman not being able to warm up for very long between her arrival and the bottom of the first.  “She was only able to throw a few pitches to me before she went out there.  They looked good and I was confident she’d settle in, but it just wasn't working tonight,” he said in a post-game interview.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

Game Preview for 8/22/11

Unicorns of the Apocalypse @P.F. Chang's Warriors
Princess Anne Athletic Complex Field Red #3

     After last week's valiant efforts to defeat That's What She Said went fruitless, the Unicorns take on P.F. Chang's Warriors for a doubleheader Monday night.  The Warriors are currently 2-0, beating Carroll Truckers last week.  However, as seen in a previous post, the spring's P.F. Chang's team went 0-14, so there is a solid chance that the Unicorns could pull out a win.  Expect the season debuts of the acclaimed Larry Strait and Nathan Anderson.

Lineup is TBD.

Last Week's Team Leaders
AVG/OBP/SLG:  Coach Greg Weaver leads the team with .800s across the board.  Greaver is bested only in SLG at the moment with his brother Bobby Weaver unsurprisingly besting him at 1.000.  B-Weaver continues to be reliable at getting extra-base hits, landing two last Monday night.

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Despite First-Inning Magic, Unicorns Gracefully Lose Season Opener

If the Unicorns of the Apocalypse were as magical as,
saaaay, this here burrito unicorn, Monday night
may have ended differently.
     It was probably one of VBC Softball’s most glorious innings in the last year and a half. 
     After having lost to That’s What She Said all three times in the first part of 2011 (3-12, 4-15, 5-11), the Unicorns fielded a two-hit, two-walk first inning that saw two runs cross the plate.  The Unicorns responded with a monster seven-hit, one-walk inning that saw seven cross the plate.  To put that in perspective, in only four out of fifteen games last season did the Unicorns score seven or more runs.  The Unicorns were ecstatic and continued playing well defensively, with Romeo Villanueva taking one knee to make a crucial catch in left-center and rookie Kevin Carpenter diving low to make his own web gem in left.

Sunday, August 14, 2011

Game Preview for 8/15/11

Unicorns of the Apocalypse vs. That's What She Said
Princess Anne Athletic Complex Field Red #3

     The Unicorns will pick up right where they left off last season to face once again That's What She Said.  In the spring, the Unicorns batted .443/.473/.571 total versus their pitching, producing their second-best batting average against a single team of said season.  Players not known for their power--such as Mary Hasan, Joanna Niles, and Romeo Villanueva--thrived in games against them while some of their top producers--Ryan Cahill, Bobby Weaver, and Prucha--found it hard to produce their usual team-leading numbers despite Cahill and Weaver hitting a home run each off of their pitchers.  Unless they need to swing for the fences, maybe the best strategy will be to rely on infield singles and shallow drops in the outfield tomorrow night.
     Bobby Weaver will take the mound first for the season opener, followed by Kevin Carpenter in game two.

Breaking News: Kat Bolick has resigned onto VBC Softball to be a Unicorn.  Kat played RF with The Legion of Fistpumping Turtles last season.
Update: A message to the team sent by co-captain Bobby Weaver 11pm revealed that "Kat has sobered up and re-retired."  Apparently, festivities at this weekend's birthday party for Unicorns Romeo Villanueva and Matt Portner made her get a little too ambitious.  Bolick fans may be able to see her again either in the stands or in an as-needed sub situation later this season.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Unicorns Must Muster Mental Muscularity, Face Former Foes in Fall

Coach Greg Weaver prepares for the fall
season mentally by getting really close
to a live polar bear at the San Diego Zoo.
Only glass separated him from the 

man-and-carrot-eating beast.
            With less than a week away from the first game, officials finally released the Virginia Beach Coed Duffer League Softball schedule for the fall.
            The Unicorns will be facing seven different teams in doubleheaders this season as opposed to the spring, in which they faced five different teams three times.   “Makes the game different,” says coach Greg Weaver, “Instead of being able to get a feel for a team the first time with a doubleheader and having a month or more to plan a little for your next bout, you have to learn to get that feel in the first game.  If we lose our first game, our only chance at revenge is in the second; if we win our first game… well, we’ll take that win.”
            The game is indeed different.  In this league, the teams of VBC Softball have seen two types of schedules.  The first is the small-division type, where the team will face a different opponent each week until they have played everyone in the division.  Following that, the team rematches every team for one more game each.  That type was what the schedule was in the spring.  The second schedule type is adjusted for larger divisions, which is what the Unicorns face this fall.  The team will play each opponent in its division twice, both of the games falling in the same evening.
             The difference in the types calls for a different style of mental play.  Whereas the Unicorns may have thought that they would improve over the course of the season to win one later, they are barred from that way of thinking now.  Improving over the course of the season and locking in your team’s dominance over another team at the end is not an option.  Now, one may say that the second game—the last game each night—now determines who is the better team for the whole season.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Unicorns Come and Go as the Season of Death Beckons

            Fans that come out to the first game of the season might initially look at the team as one might look at a toad born in the Chernobyl zone—as something horribly deformed, yet strangely familiar.  And in the midst of the apocalypse and fall, that could be just what the harbingers of death on the softball diamond need to decimate their opponents.  With veterans of VBC Softball setting off to do other things this fall, some new Unicorns will take the field—a few with familiar faces.