Unicorns hold on to Cobras

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is part 1 of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #1: Busch Cobras

The Unicorn can be both the most fragile of creatures and the fiercest of creatures.  Typically, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse, while inherently having a nature that can effectively end the world at any given moment, start out a two-game series as the former and end with the latter.  Example: Coming off of a 12-run win, the Unicorns mustered a total of two hits in the first two innings this, their next game, and came out with only four runs.  Their M.O., apparently, is to lead teams in to make them think they are just fragile little 'corns (thus the allowance of 11 runs in the first inning and VBC Softball veteran Joanna Niles suffering a strained oblique while in the field in the bottom of the 1st) until they unleash their nuclear power, as evidenced by their 5-run first inning in the second game.  Reigning MVPs Kevin "Magi-Carp" Carpenter and Elisabeth Edge returned to add to the fallout, allowing the Unicorns to spit out the venom that caused their first loss and ending their match with the Cobras in a draw.

Wins: 1
Losses: 2
Ties: 1

Go, Unicorns!

Team Leaders (week of May 7th)

Unicorns, Writers Black Out

The Unicorns were hurt so much by the powers of the
Kraken that it continued to ail them a week later.

     All of the feel-good from the stellar "all-girl-and-Romeo" defense was put to rest two Mondays ago as the Unicorns raced the number two lead in the division, the Renegades.

Game 1
Top of the 1st: F1, 6-3, F7.
Mid 1st: "Wait, we already batted?" - Anonymous, heard from the dugout
Bottom 1st: First four batters score.

Mythical Kraken Robs Hits, Unicorns Come Out Alive

“That which does not kill us makes us stronger.” – Nietzsche

“But more importantly we didn’t get killed.” – Nietzsche’s Unicorn

Bob "Dad" Weaver played with the two
original VBC Softball teams, the Yetis
and the Werewolves.  He returned to action
with the Unicorns on September 12th. 

     The Unicorns took the field against the EVW Highwaymen at Princess Anne Field Red #2 at 6:45pm one girl short and spirits waning.  Only nine Unicorns were available at the start of the game, the 12-run rule was in effect, and they were against the team tied for first in the division.  The end result: two decently-played games.

     Prior the games, there were deliberations on how changes should be made to the lineups and to the fielding positions.  LF Larry Strait likes to call the outcome the “all-girl infield”—an idea meant to bolster our outfield, especially in games against teams that place high in the division.  There were two key moves: moving Romeo Villanueva from RC to 1B and solidifying Rachel Matteo at SS.

     Villanueva has been getting better in the outfield game-by-game.  When positioned well, he makes excellent snags and is consistently a solid groundball fielder.  However, the RC position seemed to be a position better fit for someone who could cover more ground.  Not only does the fielder have to have the ability to quickly chase down balls that may go over his or her head or get down well in front, s/he also has to back up the player in RF.  Villanueva now, when in the lineup, takes place of Nicholas Wasilewski, the fastest player on the team, at 1B.  This positioning inherently breaks the tag “all-girl” (as does the pitcher position), but the name continues to stick.

     Matteo proved her glove worthy of an infield position during the games versus Rewire.  During that series, she played 3B and made many good stops.  To incorporate her in the infield with other solely-infield players such as Rianna Hoffman and Elisabeth Edge, Greg Weaver, who had been playing SS since the spring, was moved into the outfield.  Matteo’s proof of worthiness for the position was capped when she turned a season-first double-play in the second game.

     With the new defense, the Unicorns and pitcher Bobby Weaver held the first-place team to 13 runs in the first game and 9 in the second, the team’s two lowest earned-run totals of the season.

     Unfortunately, the EVW Highwaymen would not take lightly to our defense.  To counter it, they summoned the Silencer of Seamen, Terror of the Tides, the Un-doer of the Unborn: the Cankerous Kraken.  In the first game, he was involved in 9 of the 12 outs; in the second, 7 of 21.  He stood 6’7”.  Limbs seemed to spout from every orifice of his being, all of them fortified with gloves.  He was a monster at limiting runs through his inconceivable range and quickness of arm.

     Other members of the Highwaymen revealed themselves to be giant squid as well, as it seemed that 80% of the males were over six-feet tall.  These squid lowered significantly the batting averages of the Unicorns—the team went .253/.331/.273 in the series.  If one created a line using the lowest numbers of all of the other series combined, it would read .401/.451/.533.  If one created a line using the lowest numbers of all of the series in franchise history, it would read .355/.403/.475.  Ouch.

Notes
- VBC Softball welcomed back veteran Bob Weaver, father of B-Weave and Greaver, as he made his first appearance as a Unicorn, filling in for Greaver, who was dealing with a jammed thumb, in the second game.  He went 0 for 2 batting, but posted a perfect fielding percentage at 1B, getting 5 batters out.
- B-Weave and Kevin MagiCarpenter continued to impress while pitching, making their way out of the candidacy for this season’s Sigh Young award.  B-Weave lowered his WHIP to 4.63 and struck three out while MagiCarp lowered his own WHIP to 4.50 and struck out four.

Team Leaders, Week of 8/12

Males

AVG/OBP/SLG: B-Weave (AVG leader; .647/.684/1.000) and MagiCarp (OBP/SLG leader; .643/.688/1.143) continue to battle for the top spot.

RBI: Carpenter continues his dominance, moving up to 11 for the season.

Females

AVG/OBP/SLG: The squids caught everyone’s balls, and the ladies are no exceptions.  Edge holds the AVG (.333), “Real Time” Rianna Hoffman holds the OBP (.438), and Matteo holds the SLG (.385).

RBI: Lanah Stafford pulls out on top with 3.

After Sixth Straight Loss, Unicorns Attempt Reform

The Incredible Hulkicorn attempts to smash Rewire.
Notice that they're all still smiling.
(edit: Leslie Paxton proclaims that Hulkicorn is in fact ready to
"slake his thirst" upon Rewire)

The good news: The Unicorns are noting and fixing their problems.

The bad news: They didn't do it in time to face a team with a losing record that was once just as bad as theirs is.

     Kevin Carpenter, known to two as MagiCarp, took the mound for the first time last week.  The week prior, he told Coach Weaver that he was a little bashful about pitching in a game since the last time he pitched (which was for a different team) he was told that he was a terrible pitcher.  His feeling on the matter led Weaver to start Rianna Hoffman that week, but after those games, Weaver could not afford not to play Carpenter against Rewire.

     The result: six innings, a 4.17 ERA, and a WHIP of 4.17--the second best start of the season.  Carpenter was able to successfully locate and pitch to contact most of the time, and when contact wasn't made, he struck out more than he walked.  Only five walks were issued--a season high--and eight strikeouts were recorded--a franchise high.  In one game, he was able to compete with some of the best performances by Hoffman at her prime last season.

Unicorns Walk in X^n Runs, Proceed to Summon Earthquake

            The moral of the story, as one Unicorn put it on Monday night, is to never take the lead in the first. 

In three out of four games played thus far, the Unicorns have taken the lead in said inning, only to lose it later on.  On this particular Monday night, Coach Greg Weaver sent Rianna “Real Time” Hoffman out to the mound to pitch her first game since mid-July, where she had a relatively mediocre outing against a tough team, ZDUB Softball.  He thought the mental rest over the break and the Unicorns’ first two games would be sufficient time to get Hoffman back closer to her mid-spring form despite Hoffman not being able to warm up for very long between her arrival and the bottom of the first.  “She was only able to throw a few pitches to me before she went out there.  They looked good and I was confident she’d settle in, but it just wasn't working tonight,” he said in a post-game interview.

Spring 2011 Superlatives Part I

Now that the spring season has come to an end and all of the stats have been accumulated, I would like to take the time to thank each player of this last VBC Softball team. I really appreciated the effort and commitment that everyone put into the team in the last fifteen games.  Certainly, because of everyone’s great attitudes and spirit, playing softball with you all is one of the highlights of my week every week.  The energy and fun that we produce certainly outweighs any sense of winning or losing, which is why I look forward to returning season after season with you all.  Now, without any further ado, to show my appreciation, I would like to award every core player with two superlatives each:

(in alphabetical order)

Ryan Cahill (LF):

Most Valuable Player (MVP)

This was practically a no-brainer.  Ryan slugged a monstrous 1.258 and kept his average at .548 with 31 at-bats.  Almost every third hit he got was a home run, and then the second third was full of his other extra-base hits.  Whoa!  That explains his 16 RBIs.  Did I mention he also arguably has the best glove and arm on the team?  If you can count on anyone to make a play at the plate happen, whether he's in outfield or not, it's this guy.  

Like I said, practically a no-brainer.  Congratulations for an awesome season, Ryan.

Most Likely to Hit a Pinata

            Ryan will do anything for a home run—including swinging at things way above his head.  But, hey, it’s worked out for him so far!