Thursday, September 8, 2011

After Sixth Straight Loss, Unicorns Attempt Reform

The Incredible Hulkicorn attempts to smash Rewire.
Notice that they're all still smiling.

(edit: Leslie Paxton proclaims that Hulkicorn is in fact ready to
"slake his thirst" upon Rewire)

The good news: The Unicorns are noting and fixing their problems.

The bad news: They didn't do it in time to face a team with a losing record that was once just as bad as theirs is.

     Kevin Carpenter, known to two as MagiCarp, took the mound for the first time last week.  The week prior, he told Coach Weaver that he was a little bashful about pitching in a game since the last time he pitched (which was for a different team) he was told that he was a terrible pitcher.  His feeling on the matter led Weaver to start Rianna Hoffman that week, but after those games, Weaver could not afford not to play Carpenter against Rewire.
     The result: six innings, a 4.17 ERA, and a WHIP of 4.17--the second best start of the season.  Carpenter was able to successfully locate and pitch to contact most of the time, and when contact wasn't made, he struck out more than he walked.  Only five walks were issued--a season high--and eight strikeouts were recorded--a franchise high.  In one game, he was able to compete with some of the best performances by Hoffman at her prime last season.
     In addition to the excellent pitching, MagiCarp went 4 for 5 and wound up completing the cycle over two games.  His onslaught could not be stopped.  "There is no other explanation for MagiCarp's performance aside from the one that is based on him channeling the strength of the Incredible Hulkicorn," Weaver stated, "because when the time limit on the Hulkicorn's summoning ran out, he dissipated, and so did Kevin's powers."
     MagiCarp dwindled down to just Kevin Carpenter in the final inning of the second game when he walked seven.  Six came into score, hoisting Rewire up 20-8 (a rather low number considering their combined game slash line of .581/.594/.724) after going 15-4 in the first game.  Bobby Weaver came off of first for the switch, but the game had already been called for time.
     After the game, Assistant Coach B-Weave started discussing with Greaver how the team might be to be more efficient in the field and in the batter's box.  Much talk of switching both fielding positions and the order of the lineup arose, but they have reported nothing concrete to this date.  B-Weave hosted a practice over the weekend and tested out a few options.  "Everyone did fairly well," he explained. "How that transfers into a less-relaxed game situation, though, we won't be able to tell until it happens."
     Next week, the Unicorns face the surging EVW Highwaymen (5-1) in a chance to test out their new plans.

Team Leaders
AVG/OBP/SLG: Nick Wasilewski (now .500/.538/.583 after an uncharacteristic outing) lost his reign to B-Weave, who now has an impressive slash line of .692/.714/1.154.  One would assume that he remains the top slugger, too, but no longer: after a triple and a homerun in game one and a double in game two, Kevin Carpenter edges out B-Weave with a SLG of 1.300.  The batting title is still anyone's game, with four Unicorns having an AVG of or above .600 and four having a SLG of .850 or greater.

RBI:  After his amazing night, Carpenter outruns (batted in) Greaver, pulling out 10 total over Greaver's 6.

AVG/OBP/SLG: She went 3 for 5 last week and continues to sit at the top spot in the first two stats: Elisabeth "The" Edge is now hitting .429/.500/.429.  Rachel Matteo finally scores the females another double, and, due to her higher AVG, bumps Lanah Stafford from the top slugging spot.  Matteo is batting .400/.400/.500 and looks to be The Edge's top contender this season if Rianna Hoffman can't bounce back.

RBI: All of the females now have at least one RBI notched for the season.  Stafford, Matteo, and Leslie Paxton have two while The Edge, Hoffman, and D-Dom have one.

SUB: A special thanks to Joanna Niles for subbing for Rianna Hoffman.  Niles went 1 for 5 with a run.

No comments:

Post a Comment