Monday, October 17, 2011

Unicorns' Inaugural Year Ends with Low Runs but High Spirits

            “We didn’t expect this season to be easy, but we sure didn’t expect this record,” Skipper Greg Weaver commented after the Unicorns fell in their last two games to end the season 0-14.  “Then again, it’s not a surprising outcome, us being VBC and all.  That’s just how we roll.”
            It was baffling to the Unicorns that the game went as poorly as it did, though.  Essentially, the Carroll Truckers were just hitting it exactly where the Unicorns weren’t—there weren’t an usual number of errors made.  Yet, somehow, the Unicorns lost the first game 28-2, and lost the second game (y=|X|+28)-1, where Y is a number greater than the Truckers’ run total in the first game and X is an unknown variable approaching infinite. 
The dreaded base-on-balls wasn’t even a harsh factor in the games.  B-Weave posted only five walks in the first game.  That number was his second best all season.  But, he gave up 28 hits.  While that total is cringe-inducing, the second game was even worse—so much so, in fact, that the run total gave the skipper temporary memory loss while he was in the field, resulting in a lack of any records of MagiCarp’s pitching. 
To put the strangeness in perspective, the Truckers, the team that placed third, outhit the second-place team at a ratio of 2.5 to 1.  The numbers were closer to the first-place team: 19 for the first game and 27 for the second versus 28 and z=|X|, where z has an error margin of approximately 5.  The first-place team in the division was the one that was made up of Krakens.  In short, the games were simply unbelievable.  Interviewing the Unicorns led to the following possible explanations:

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mosquitoes Abound, Malaria Stifles Unicorns

Greg "Greaver" Weaver starts his stride...
     Last Monday was VBC Softball veteran Larry Strait's birthday and last day before going back to Iraq, and he was determined to play as hard as he could to max out his stats and try to get his first win with any VBC team he has been on.  According to him, he has always been mysteriously absent the days that VBCers have won games.
     The game didn't start off well.  The first inning retired the Unicorns in order, and the second inning had ended with only a single by "Hard 'A'" Lanah Stafford.  Meanwhile, the Unicorns' foes, the LC Stars, drew an uncharacteristic eight walks off of Bobby Weaver and drove in nine runs.  Then, for a moment, Unicorn magic happened.

Unicorns, Writers Black Out

The Unicorns were hurt so much by the powers of the
Kraken that it continued to ail them a week later.
     All of the feel-good from the stellar "all-girl-and-Romeo" defense was put to rest two Mondays ago as the Unicorns raced the number two lead in the division, the Renegades.

Game 1
Top of the 1st: F1, 6-3, F7.
Mid 1st: "Wait, we already batted?" - Anonymous, heard from the dugout
Bottom 1st: First four batters score.