Monday, October 3, 2011

Mosquitoes Abound, Malaria Stifles Unicorns

Greg "Greaver" Weaver starts his stride...
     Last Monday was VBC Softball veteran Larry Strait's birthday and last day before going back to Iraq, and he was determined to play as hard as he could to max out his stats and try to get his first win with any VBC team he has been on.  According to him, he has always been mysteriously absent the days that VBCers have won games.
     The game didn't start off well.  The first inning retired the Unicorns in order, and the second inning had ended with only a single by "Hard 'A'" Lanah Stafford.  Meanwhile, the Unicorns' foes, the LC Stars, drew an uncharacteristic eight walks off of Bobby Weaver and drove in nine runs.  Then, for a moment, Unicorn magic happened.
... Larry Strait swings...
     Strait entered the batter's box and started the inning with a leadoff double.  Sub and former Unicorn Alaina Coletti flied out straight to third, but the Unicorns rallied and knocked around eight more hits, including a three-run homer by Greg Weaver and a triple by Strait when he returned to the plate.  Suddenly, the score was 8-9 and the Unicorns were down by one.  After that, the malaria, in all of its malevolent intent, set in.  
     Princess Anne Athletic Complex's Red fields are inconveniently placed.  Two of the fields face the parking lot.  The other two, the ones that the Duffer league teams play on, face either a swamp or a bog in which mosquitos run rampant.  These mosquitos then burst from their homes in swarms to suck the life out of anyone they choose--and Unicorns' blood is very tempting.
     Some may recall this quote, spoken by the centaur Firenze to Harry Potter in Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone:
"... it is a monstrous thing, to slay a unicorn.  Only one who has nothing to lose, and everything to gain, would commit such a crime.  The blood of a unicorn will keep you alive, even if you are an inch from death, but at a terrible price.  You have slain something pure and defenceless to save yourself, and you will have but a half-life, a cursed life, from the moment the blood touches your lips."
... and Kevin Carpenter creams the ball.
Three pictures, three people, ONE TEAM.
One may wonder way, in this case, why mosquitoes would dare suck the blood of the Unicorns.  The writer can offer two possible explanations: a) these Unicorns are of the apocalypse and thus their blood has the reverse effect; and b) MOSQUITOES DON'T CARE THEY SUCK WHAT THEY WANT.
     In any case, the blood was sucked, and the malaria spread.  Coletti was frozen in RF and at the plate, her mind on her ravaged legs; Greaver had to pull his pants down over his magical high socks as the mosquitos were piercing the fabric.  The first game ended 17-9 and the second game ended 19-2.  The Unicorns were stricken with the itching and some of their worst pitching this year.  Everything was disastrous.

A post-game exchange via Facebook:

If I seem erratic, it's probably the post-softball-game-malaria-fever. Not sure I've ever seen that many mosquitos colonizing in one place.
 ·  · September 27 at 9:07am · Privacy:

  • You like this.

    • Gregory Weaver ‎... well, "like" may not be the right word.
      September 27 at 3:15pm · 

    • Leslie Paxton I hope you've checked in with Alaina Coletti - I'm worried about the scavies outbreak about to hit the festival! :)
      September 27 at 3:38pm · 

    • Alaina Coletti Haha gross
      September 27 at 5:59pm · 

Team Leaders, Week of 9/26/11
AVG/OBP/SLG: After going 4 for 5 with two doubles, MagiCarp buffs up his lead, batting a .714/.739/1.143 for the season.  Strait did not catch him, but it's worth noting that his extra-base hits pushed him up to a .591/.591/1.045.

RBI: Greaver's homerun put him back in a race with MagiCarp, but he still has only 10 against MagiCarp's 12.

Hot/Cold Streaks: Along with the other, mentioned hot bats in the LC Stars series, Romeo Villanueva (.300/.364/.300) went 2 for 3 with a walk and two RBIs.  Being a man of the islands, he likely was not affected by the mosquito onslaught.  Greaver's pasty exterior, however, couldn't hide the Filipino within, and his stats have lowered to a career low .435/.439/.739.

AVG/OBP/SLG: Edge seems to have no competition for the female batting title at this point.  Her slash line reads .481/.533/.481.

RBI: Stafford owns the ladies with her 4 RBIs.  She also leads them in extra-base hits, having scored two doubles thus far.  Rachel Matteo trails her with one of her own, but no other female is hitting for power at this time.  Thing could surely change in the last game!

Game Preview for 10/3/11
     Tonight, spring Unicorn Mary Hasan rejoins her curse in place of Rianna Hoffman as the Unicorns of the Apocalypse play their last game of the season against the Carroll Truckers at 8:45 on Princess Anne Athletic Complex, Field Red #3.  As mentioned in the season preview post, VBC Softball has played this team in the past, though records of the performances are not currently available.  Currently, Carroll Truckers are 7-5 and place third in the league.  Can the Unicorns come from behind to seal a win this season?

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