Unicorns slay Dragons for second season victory

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is the final part of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #3: Dragons

Three Mondays ago, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse took the field not knowing what to expect from their opponents, the Dragons.  Dubbed "The Series of Mythical Beasts" or "Battle of Mythical Creatures" by non-believers, the Unicorns were in for their most gruesome battle yet.

The series didn't start out so well, as the Unicorns saw their leadoff man, and one of their best hitters, strike out, their two-hole hitter fly out, and then, following a single, saw the final out made on a fielder's choice.  After the first was over, though, the Unicorns polished off their horns and charged, scoring nine runs highlighted by a grand slam by Magi-Carp and a solo shot by Greaver.  They didn't stop in the third either, as Ryan Cahill blasted his own homerun and the bottom of the batting order, lead by returning VBC Softball elite Romeo Villanueva, all got on base so that the top of the order could bring them all home.  For two consecutive innings, the batting order had been cycled through once.

Every 'corn was merciless over those innings, but the Dragons were not going to go down without launching their own huge balls of fire.  When the smoke cleared, the Dragons outlasted the Unicorns and won 19 to 17.

Enraged, the Unicorns took the field again only to use their trump card: nuclear fusion.  Picking up right where they left off, the Unicorns scored four in the first.  The Dragons responded with scoring four of their own to tie it, but in the end the radiation was just too much for them to stand--the Unicorns stood victorious for the second time this season, besting their foes 12 to 7.

The series was easily the greatest series played in the history of the Unicorns of the Apocalypse.  Sometimes their enemies are clearly in the wrong league, but the Dragons, a foe truly worthy of tying with the Unicorns, showed that they, too, belong in Virginia Beach's Duffer league.

Wins: 2

Ties: 1

Losses: Who cares!?  We've won 2 and tied 1!  Neigh!

Team Leaders

Unicorns do not eat Chinese

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is part 2 of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #2: P.F. Chang's Warriors

Many players on the Unicorns of the Apocalypse, when in their human form, love Chinese food.  When in their Unicorn form, they can eat Chinese food, but they cannot, however, eat Asian Fusion food.  In fact, they choke on it pretty hard.  Though VBC Softball has faced P.F. Chang's Warriors many times in the past, both as the Unicorns and as The Legion of Fistpumping Turtles, they always seem to come out winless (e.g., last year).  This year was no different.  "Must be some kind of allergy," coach Greg Weaver explained, "and I know a thing or two about allergies."

Due to the absence of many of the Unicorns (likely due to their fear of many things fusion), the first game was open to the slaughter rule.  Luckily, though, long-time colleague of a couple 'corns, Scherry McCartney, showed up to play first base and thus canceled said rule in the second game, making the teams play the required five innings and therefore extending the torture of being utterly ripped apart.  McCartney, who brought with her two whom would cheer, would go 0-2 with a walk and a run in the series.  Mentionable highlights of the second game include homeruns by the Weaver brothers, but ultimately, though they batted an MLB-excellent 14 for 31 (.452), they could not string together their hits to counteract the potent offense of the Warriors.

Team Leaders (week of May 14th)

Unicorns hold on to Cobras

Since their first win of the year, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse have been involved in many fierce encounters with a variety of foes.

*This is part 1 of a 3-day blog series that catches fans up with the Unicorns' progress over the last few weeks.

Foe #1: Busch Cobras

The Unicorn can be both the most fragile of creatures and the fiercest of creatures.  Typically, the Unicorns of the Apocalypse, while inherently having a nature that can effectively end the world at any given moment, start out a two-game series as the former and end with the latter.  Example: Coming off of a 12-run win, the Unicorns mustered a total of two hits in the first two innings this, their next game, and came out with only four runs.  Their M.O., apparently, is to lead teams in to make them think they are just fragile little 'corns (thus the allowance of 11 runs in the first inning and VBC Softball veteran Joanna Niles suffering a strained oblique while in the field in the bottom of the 1st) until they unleash their nuclear power, as evidenced by their 5-run first inning in the second game.  Reigning MVPs Kevin "Magi-Carp" Carpenter and Elisabeth Edge returned to add to the fallout, allowing the Unicorns to spit out the venom that caused their first loss and ending their match with the Cobras in a draw.

Wins: 1
Losses: 2
Ties: 1

Go, Unicorns!

Team Leaders (week of May 7th)