Thursday, May 3, 2012

The Rapture is finally upon us--Unicorns WIN!!!

A little before 9pm on Monday night, high above field #1 at Red Mill Park, clouds parted and a vision appeared.

Yes, you're seeing that correctly.  Jesus himself reappeared atop a majestic Unicorn.  Though our jerseys may show a midnight black 'corn cackle-neighing in the foreground of an atomic blast, this unicorn was a sure sign of The Rapture--the apocalypse of all apocalypses.  And it could only have come as a result of the most unlikely turn of events.

Read carefully, True Believers: The Unicorns won.

And not only did they win once, their potent offense kept the other team on their toes for the other game.

After two games, the Unicorns have a team slash line of .563/.571/.875.  That's an OPS of 1.446, which is higher than the OPS record-holding, steroid-infused '04 Barry Bonds.  Just a little food for thought, Co-ed Duffer Division 4!  Our 7 doubles, 5 triples, and 1 homerun... we're comin' to getcha BEFORE The Rapture does!

Now-veteran pitcher Bobby Weaver paved the way for the offense to take control.  Aside from unanimously winning the Gold Glove award of the evening, putting away shot after shot that went straight to the mound, B-Weave held his opponent, Scared Hitless, to just 12 hits, 4 walks, and 7 earned runs over six innings of work.  His first-pitch strike/slider one-two punch combo also K'd six batters, fooling one in particular three times.

The batter'corns mixed mammoth slugging with smart fundamentals.  Four of the males--Bobby Weaver, Greg Weaver, Ryan Cahill, and Josh Fisher--ended the two games with SLGs over 1.000, and the other two, Paxton O'Toole and Joey Sanchez, delivered clutch hits, granting them 4 and 3 RBIs respectively.  Cahill and O'Toole even docked a couple of sacrifice flies during the games, which is something rarely beheld by the Curse (read: a group of apocalyptic unicorns).

The ladies really stepped up in the second game, as well.  Joanna Niles was the only hitter in the first, going 2 for 3 with an RBI, but in the next hour, most all of the girls hit.  Most notably, Lanah Stafford went 3 for 3 and Melissa Di Domenico went 2 for 2.  Leslie Paxton collected the females' first XBH with a double in the second inning.

Game #1: Unicorns of the Apocalypse - 9; Scared Hitless - 12
Game #2: Scared Hitless - 7; Unicorns of the Apocalypse - 12

Team Leaders
AVG/OBP/SLG:  Despite having collected a double, two triples, and a homerun, Greg "Greaver" Weaver's 1.714 SLG was edged out by former Unicorn MVP Ryan Cahill.  Furthermore, Cahill, after going 5 for 5 with a sacrifice fly, topped rookie Josh Fisher's .833 AVG and tied his OBP.  His final line of the night was 1.000/.833/1.800, allowing him to start the season with an OPS of 2.633, which nears the combined top OPS's of Babe Ruth and Ted Williams.

RBI:  Greaver and O'Toole, with 4 each, are trailed by Cahill and Sanchez, with each having 3 of their own.

AVG/OBP/SLG:  Melissa D-Dom[enico], after walking twice over the course of the night, demonstrated her ability to beat out grounders, topping the women with a .667/.800/.667 line.

RBI:  Lanah Stafford kept the run ball rolling in her plate appearances, earning her first RBI with a fielder's choice out in the first game and two RBI's on singles in the second.  Rookie second-baseman Kendra Stancell follows her with two.

Until next time, live long and prosper... while you still can!!!!

*Photos/vision reproduction courtesy of the power of Leslie Paxton, per usual

1 comment:

  1. I had to take my glasses off and clean them to make sure I was reading this correctly. Good job and congrats, 'corns! It's great to hear you guys are having a strong season already! Though not for long...

    (not suggesting that it's all downhill from here for you guys, but you's all downhill FOR US ALL AHHHHH)